that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
