wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
