The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
