no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
COCAINE IS GR8
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
