I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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