let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
