carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
