Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
