I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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