Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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