fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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