Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
