i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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