you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
