It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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