Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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