Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
