i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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