well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
