Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize