Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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