when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
