end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I believe in your delicious
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
