Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
then he tried to convert me to islam
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
