The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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