when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
