Sponge bath it is.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I currently don't understand fingers.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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