a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
