butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
