I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
