Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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