its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
