just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
