the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What drink are we having for lunch?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
