you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
