what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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