I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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