Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
