i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
