worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
