I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
