My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
