i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
