You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
