Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
