i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
