Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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