RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
