If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
