no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
