thus making me awesome and them whores
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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