she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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