Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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